As part of Mental Health Awareness Month, In Their Own Words shares honest reflections from young people and writers about what living with mental illness can feel like from the inside.
This story discusses self-harm and may be difficult for some readers. Please read with care.
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I started self-harming around 15 years old. Self-harm is not the same as being suicidal. I am not suicidal and I actually self-harm to “deal with” life and to keep myself alive. In those moments, I don’t want to die, but Idon’t know how to live either.
If I could, I would just stop – but it’s not that easy. It takes time to replace harmful habits with good ones. I’ve tried various coping methods. None are perfect, but here’s what I’ve found:
- Pushing the urge off by talking to a friend helps curb it.
- Not keeping it a secret when I relapse helps me put a stop to the spiral faster.
- Having emotional support from friends and family is essential.
I wish I could say that I am “cured” and don’t struggle. But the truth is the urges are there and one single moment can send me spiraling back into the cycle.
Life turns difficult. Medication stops working and mood swings grow in severity. PTSD and anxiety return in full swing. And sometimes that’s when I start self-harming again. To stay alive. To cope.
So in those instances, when the urges “win,” I re-adjust and head back toward the place where I can get ahead of the habit of self-harm. I will do my best to change directions, knowing it’s possible and knowing that I am worth the effort it requires
. There are kinder ways to cope and as I get better at seeking support, recovery becomes more of a reality. – written by Storm Mai
You are worthy of love and grace, from others and yourself. If you’re dealing with self-injury or self-harm, we encourage you to seek support. Recovery is a reality.
Crisis text line: text HELP to 741741
Crisis & Suicide lifeline: 988
Warm line:1-855-845-7415
You are not alone
Hope starts here.